i Hate Hollywood.

So I only write in here when I feel as if I have something at least semi intelligent to say. This is why I have been quiet for the last week and a half. Mid terms and papers have been numbing my brain. Thankfully a debate was sparked on myspace with a good friend of mine Ricky Brandt that got me thinking.

I was quite ecstatic when I heard Beowulf was coming to the silver screen. However like always, I was hesitant as to how good it would be. I posted this online using Troy as an example of an awesome idea turned can to shit through the glorification of Hollywood fucking with originality. Ricky replied to me as if bewildered that I didn’t like Troy. Here’s a little fact about Joe Hickey, I love mythology, and I have read quite a bit of it during my studies. I am by no means brilliant with mythology, but I know my stuff to the extent I know when people fuck up the story. Granted I haven’t seen Troy since I wasted the eight dollars on it to go see it -so I can’t use specific examples- but I know they changed the story quite a bit from the epic poem that I read and was mesmerized with.

After the LOTR series and Potter series, I was hoping that Hollywood was learning a lesson, and keeping the stories basically unchanged. Granted LOTR’s kept a lot out of the books out of sheer size of the stories, but they kept very well with the storyline and did an amazing job, ditto for Potter flicks. So I thought maybe…just maybe.

So there I sit in the theater and I will say at first I am stoked. The 3D is actually very well done, the animated aspects which I was upset with at first proved to be quite engaging. Then I see Grendel, and I was pissed. But I won’t knock the movie for their artistic version of what Grandel looked like. That’s open for interpretation and I respect others opinions on such matters. I am fairly certain that within the epic poem of Beowulf they never actually describe Grendel’s physical features, and if I am wrong please correct me. Either way, personally I did not like Grendel.

For those of us who have actually read Beowulf you should know it’s a three part episodic structure; the killing of Grendel, the killing of the mother, and the killing of the dragon. Now I haven’t read Beowulf since last semester (yet I know the story well) but I don’t feel like researching to double check my Beowulf story, so if I am wrong as always correct me and I will gladly retake everything I am about to say.

The first episode is amazing, and done almost for verbatim from the original epic, they even incorporate the swimming story where Beowulf slays the water serpents, which I honestly thought would have been left out. Kudos, so far so good, it really has been awesome thus far.

Then we meet the mother and this is where one of the most ancient and well known epics turns from an epic to a fucking episode of Jerry Springer. From this point out the writers rewrite the Beowulf tale and turn it into a modern shitty version of broken family structure, jerry Springer episode, with a revenge tale tossed amidst. They make Beowulf flawed in so many ways he completely looses his epic heroism.

This is Beowulf, an epic hero! He is supposed to have certain personal characteristics that make him the amazing hero that can battle a demon with no armor or sword. But oh no! I know exactly what Hollywood was thinking…and their fucking idiots. We have to make Beowulf more modern, he needs to be flawed, and he needs to represent modern society so the viewers can relate to him. All fine ideals when creating a movie, except one that already been written and has already passed the test of time! Nothing any Hollywood writer will ever write will ever be greater then Beowulf, you dumb bastards. Way to destroy one of the most beloved stories known in mankind? Way to ruin it you fucks.

How does everyone else feel about this? Agreed? Disagree?